License to Steele – 11

We join She-Thinks-He’s-Pearson and Laura entering Gordon Hunter’s gala. PDVD_083

What a gorgeous couple they make, no? Laura wants to know where the imposter is. “I keep asking myself the same question,” STHP remarks.


The party seems to be in full swing! Hunter invites his guests to take their seats:


“We’ve got an awful lot to accomplish,” he says. Namely, the unveiling of “the finest automobile ever engineered by man.”


STHS doesn’t seem impressed!

Before the grand unveiling, Hunter wants to thank the Remington Steele Detective Agency.


“Great endorsement!” Laura tells STHP.


Hunter talks up the agency, praising  their “brilliant planning, daring execution and plain old street savvy.” He’s about to introduce the person responsible for the safety of the Royal Lavulite.


Aw, shucks. Laura is embarrassed by all this praise! “I wish he’d stop!” she demurs.


“Wait,” STHP suggests.


“An absolutely astounding human being!” Hunter gushes.


Laura prepares to take her well-earned bow. But wait!

“Remington Steele!” Hunter declares.


As her companion rises to take HIS entirely undeserved bow, he has the grace to feel sheepish, at least: “Years from now, when you talk of this – and you will – be kind.”


“Deborah Kerr to John Kerr, Tea & Sympathy, MGM, 1956.”


Somehow I don’t think Laura is in the mood to play movie trivia!


Hunter greets his idol like a lovestruck fanboy at a Doctor Who convention!


The Man-Who-Would-Be-Steele accepts the adulation like a frightened cast member at a Doctor Who convention! Is Hunter about to kiss him? Stepping to the microphone, TMWWBS graciously singles out “his most able and most valuable associate …”


“… truly the woman behind the man: Miss Laura Holt!”


Laura does a very good job of illustrating the old canard, “If looks could kill …”


She seems to be having trouble finding something to do with her hands. Perhaps if she put them around someone’s neck, she’d be more comfortable!


“And now, you have far more interesting things to look at than me,” TMWWBS declares. Oh, I don’t think so, mister man. It’s hard to imagine anything more engrossing than your own sexy self in a tux. Let’s take a moment to enjoy, shall we?


Ahem. Hunter unveils his masterpiece: The Batmobile Hunter Jetstar 6000!


Steele returns – reluctantly, I think – to his seat. Laura is not pleased to see him!

“What are you going to do when Mr. Steele arrives?” she hisses.


“I’d like to meet the man whose shoes I’m attempting to fill,” he answers. “How am I doing so far?”

Not well, it seems. Laura gets to her feet,


apparently preparing to swallow the man whole! Instead, she settles for berating him. He’s nothing like her Mr. Steele! Steele is “honest, dedicated, better looking!”


Are you sure you don’t want to re-evaluate that last statement, Laura?

Time for a little corporal punishment:


“You’re nothing but a treacherous liar!” (Whack!)


“A cheap crook!”


“A cut-rate con man!” (WHACK!)

Laura makes her exit, with the Cut-Rate-Con-Man in pursuit!


CRCM grabs hold of her on the dance floor.


Laura doesn’t seem happy to see him – but at least the couple behind them seem to be having a good time!


“Whatever possessed you to think you could get away with this?” she demands.


Cut-Rate-Con-Man is confident he can get away with this. He remarks that Mr. Steele seems to be an impeccable man!


“Do you know there’s not a piece of lint, speck of dandruff or hank of hair on any of his suits?”


What’s more, there’s no laundry marks on the shirts, no scuff marks on the soles of his shoes …


… not even any hairs in his hairbrush! He tells Laura that it’s obvious Mr. Steele is an elaborate ruse!


“He does not exist. You invented him.”


“What are you going to do with this absurd supposition?” Laura wants to know.



He tells Laura he hadn’t intended on assuming Steele’s identity. “I’m after something entirely different.”


She’s wise to him: “The gems.”


He denies it; he’s after Kessler and Neff (not Neef?). They killed his younger brother, the courier!

Laura doesn’t know whether to believe him. After all, he’s a treacherous liar! A cheap crook! A cut-rate con man! But he is also smokin’ hot. Perhaps she’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. I would!

Cut-Rate-Con-Man assures Laura that as soon as the Nogoodniks are apprehended, he shall be gone.


“And your secret shall leave with me.”

Sounds perfectly reasonable, don’t you think? But wait! Who’s that making a fuss at the edge of the dance floor?


Why, it’s Murphy and Bernice! Either Murph is moonlighting as a waiter and is signaling seating for two, or something BIG is going on. Judging from Bernice’s expression, I’d say it’s the latter!

I’ll leave it there for now. Whew! That’s an eventful product unveiling, don’t you think? Does Laura really believe he’s a bereaved bro out for revenge? Is the cut-rate-con-man still after the jewels? And what exactly is holding up the top of Laura’s dress? (I’m thinking double-faced carpet tape). Share your thoughts on this importance sequence!


October 18, 2013 · 2:18 am

7 responses to “License to Steele – 11

  1. eaz35173

    LOL – your last comments/questions sound like they’re from the end of a “Soap” episode (or the old “Batman” series).

    I love that CRCM confronts her on the issue of her con. And in doing so, willingly reveals HIS (well, not the whole truth, but just enough).

    How in the world can Laura say that HER Mr. Steele is better looking?! She must be blind with rage, that’s all I can figure. OMG – that picture of Laura and the Alien – too funny!!

    And, we get our first full movie annotation here! I’m thinking there won’t be any tea OR sympathy!!

  2. I have always thought PB’s delivery of “Wait.” in this scene was hilarious! And the infuriated Laura was great! Most especially the scene on the dance floor when he is trying to calm her is most entertaining. And finally, I don’t know Laura’s dream man is, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like PB in a tux!!!!!!! Love your rolling commentary, Keri, I look forward to reading it everyday!

  3. Melissa

    Oh My God! Your names for our soon-to-be-hero are hilarious! I love your commentary!

    How do I an email to know when a new post is posted? I am a week late! 😦

  4. steeleinterested

    Now that I am able to stop laughing long enough to catch my breath…In the interest of trying to get caught up, I am trying not to comment but .this is one of my favorite scenes and your commentary is outstanding!

  5. Really one of the best scenes of the series! So wonderfully acted and don’t the two of them look absolutely gorgeous!

  6. Judie

    There are several hidden movie references going within this script. The part where Steele is paged in the lobby and Would Be Steele answers it which causes Hunter to mistake him for Steele is similar to the beginning of North by Northwest where Cary Grant’s character answers a page for a George Kaplan which causes another case of mistaken identity.

    The constantly shifting between identities from Ben Pearson, nameless conman and Remington Steele, which Would Be Steele uses with various people, is reminiscent of another Cary Grant movie, Charade. In it Cary constantly changes his identity and his name. He also tells Audrey Hepburn that he’s after the crooks who are responsible for his brother’s death, and are now after her money – all a fabricated story to gain Audrey’s trust and very much similar to the tale Would Be Steele is trying to feed to Laura. Also, the repeated question about how long can they keep up a charade is another reference to the movie.
    There are jokes within jokes within jokes in the dialogue and it’s hilarious.

    Also, great blog. Finally something worthy of Remington Steele. 🙂

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