We’re back in the busy office corridor. But wait!
This isn’t the same corridor that we saw before. Either the place has been redecorated since we last saw it, or there’s a back way into the offices of the Remington Steele Agency.
Anyway, we see Mr. Steele and, rather weirdly, a lady with a dog, exit the elevator. Mr. Steele is playing it cool, but we know better. He’s thinking Miss Holt is a lot like that lady’s dog – assuming said dog is female … if you catch my drift.
He rubs his nose as he arrives at the office. We’ve seen him do this before – a nervous gesture? Uh, oh. The website “The Art of Mentalism,” (whatever that is) has this to say about nose touching:
The reason that people may touch their nose when lying is because when we lie we begin to feel more stressed, particularly if that person is lying to get themselves out of trouble. This causes blood pressure to rise which can cause the nerves in the nose to tingle.
Oh, dear. Do you think Mr. Steele is feeling stressed? Just because he’s impersonating a brilliant detective who doesn’t actually exist? I wonder if he was this twitchy when he was running cons. I believe this is what is known as a “tell,” Mr. Steele. You should perhaps avoid any high-stakes poker games until you resolve this little tic.
Mr. Steele enters the office. It looks like business has improved! But wait a second: what happened to the other tree? And the tree we have left looks a little anemic. And Bernice has a new phone! And there’s different furniture in the lobby! Even the walls and flooring are different. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? No wonder Mr. Steele seems uneasy!
Bernice is correcting something she’s typing. Somehow I don’t think she was hired for her administrative skills.
“Mr. Steele!” she exclaims with surprise.
“Miss Wolfe,” he answers with indifference.
“Miss Foxe,” she corrects, with irritation. Steele doesn’t care.
He heads across the waiting room, pursued by a fawning client.
“Mr. Steele,” the man gushes. “It’s a pleasure to meet you!”
“I’m Liebowicz!” In a hushed tone, he reminds Steele that he’s come about “the Morton matter.”
“Ah, yes,” Steele bluffs. “A very complex situation.”
“But it’s been resolved!” Leibowicz informs him, bewildered.
“Complex … but easily resolved!” Steele says before dashing away to the safety of …
… the file room? Murphy’s office? Laura’s office? Anyway, it’s not his ultimate destination. Pursued by Miss
Wolfe Foxe, who threatens to tell Laura he’s hanging around the office if he doesn’t get her name right, Mr. Steele dashes into …
… somewhere else …
… and back again …
… and through yet another door …
(The configuration of this office space is a little confusing!
Artist’s rendering of Remington Steele Agency floorplan.)
… and finally into “his” executive office. He wants to know where Laura is! Bernice says that’s not for publication. Steele ain’t buyin’ it. Bernice doesn’t seem to realize the gravity of the situation!
“She has closed my checking account!” He’s on the brink of financial, not to mention physical, oblivion!
She’ll give Laura the message … maybe.
Steele’s not having any of her lip! He tells Miss Whatever that he’s prepared to handle “each and every one of those cases out there personally!”
Miss Whatever is aghast. “You wouldn’t!”
Oh, I think he would.
Beaten, Bernice confesses that Laura is “at a motel on Pekoe.” I wonder what she’s doing there? Let’s find out!
We find Laura giggly and disrobing …
“This is a first for me!” she tee-hees. Wonder what’s got her so giddy?
Unclad stranger tells her she’ll learn to love it. Laura doesn’t seem so sure.
“If mah husband eveh found out about this, he’d kill us both!” she says in an unfamiliar, Southern drawl.
NakedGuy says he won’t tell.
… Murphy and a Mustachio’dGuy are somewhere nearby, listening in. Kinky! Murph declares NakedGuy a “smooth talkin’ creep!”
The Mustachio’dGuy with Murphy wants to know why they don’t just bust the guy. “We already know he’s behind it!” (This gets kinkier by the second!) Murphy says they’ve got to hear him ask Laura to steal the information from Mustachio’dGuy’s company.
Back in the hotel room, Laura shrugs off her jeans and suggests that she might take the rest of the day off. Since the clock in Steele’s office read 4:00 pm, it doesn’t seem like that big a deal.
NakedGuy demurs. She can’t be shirking her job, because it’s “going to make us a lot of money!”
Murphy seems pleased!
NakedGuy carries Laura to bed
But I digress.
Just when things are looking dire for Laura … rescue is at hand!
“You’ve got a lot of explaining to do!” Steele shouts, whipping off his shades for emphasis.
Steele is here to defend Laura’s honor, right? Um …
“You closed my checking account!” he bellows!
“We’ll talk about it later,” Laura replies, calmly.
Wait a minute! NakedGuy recognizes AngryGuy!
“That’s Remington Steele!”
“It’s a set up!”
Side note: This actor, whose name seems to be Stan Sells, gives a rich, nuanced performance here, no? His skills were perhaps honed in classic films like “Her Life as a Man” (1984) and “Bar Girls” (1990). Alas, he passed away in 2004. RIP, Stan.
NakedGuy beats a hasty retreat …
… pursued by Murphy and a lightly clad Laura!
Murph engages the villain in fisticuffs!
But he is outmaneuvered.
Mustachio’dMan wants to know what’s happening!
Mustachio’dMan Mr. Dillon that there has been a change in plans. He should just go back to his office and wait to hear from them.
Dillon is at least reassured that Mr. Steele is personally involved!
Laura is disappointed. “Three weeks playing secretary for nothing!” (WHACK!)
Steele points out that if he knew what case he was working on, he wouldn’t find himself in these embarrassing situations.’
“You’re not working on ANY case!” she informs him.
Steele is miffed! This is how she repays him, after all he’s done for her? Cutting off his credit!
Laura reminds him he spent $22,000 in a single month!
“You asked me to keep Nadine occupied!”
Laura ain’t buyin’ it.
“Long-stemmed roses, $200 an ounce perfume, designer gowns!”
“Perhaps I did go a bit overboard,” Steele concedes. “But it’s for the good of the agency.”
Laura suggests that for the good of the agency, from now on they discuss all expenditures in advance.
But he’s written checks to people who don’t even take checks! They have names like Bruno and Guido –
“… and they do some of their best work in cement.”
It seems he’s “invested” in Danny’s Dessert, “some of the finest horseflesh ever to grace a quarter-mile turn.”
The horse came up lame, Bruno et al wanted to divest themselves of it, so Mr. Steele put together a group of investors to purchase the pony to put out to stud.
Aha! The lost has been found. Guess he’s a better detective than you thought, eh, Laura?
Laura will try to convince Dillon that his barging in was “another brilliant Remington Steele tactic.” As for poor Danny’s Dessert …
“Buy him some BenGay!”
Whew! That was a long one. But some interesting stuff here. Steele has clearly been out of the loop for some time, as Laura has been undercover for three weeks and he didn’t know anything about it. And apparently he’s only allowed in the office under close supervision. Despite the apparent friction between them, note that Laura and Steele are curiously touchy-feely in this last segment. Could it be they’re not as antagonistic toward one another as they like to pretend?