Our next scene opens on …
… Laura, enjoying her very full weekend. There’s a knock on the door. Who is it?
“Steele,” says a voice behind the door.
“Steele!” I think she’s glad he stopped by, don’t you?
Laura goes to the door, but doesn’t open it.
Laura reminds Mr. Steele that she made it very clear: She’s busy tonight! Busy, busy, busy!
Steele’s voice concedes that, but tells her he’s with someone who needs their help. Indeed, “If you’ve ever seen a more desperate creature in your life, I shall leave in an instant.”
Intrigued, Laura opens the door a crack.
There’s a zombie on her front step!
Laura is … surprised!
“Hello, Miss Holt. My name is Sheldon Quarry.”
I think Mr. Steele knows very well how to pique Laura’s attention!
Laura asks if her gentlemen callers would mind waiting just one minute.
Time for a little speed cleaning! Laura scoops up her paperwork and dashes into another room.
I believe I read somewhere that Laura’s house was a replica of Stephanie Zimbalist’s own home, which was located not far from the lot where they shot the show, and she brought in some of her own furnishings/knick-knacks to decorate Laura’s place.
Laura dashes from the other room – oops! Forgot something!
She returns with a “hot date” dress, which she artfully arranges to set the scene. Because everybody gets dressed to go out in their living room! (I think Miss Holt may be a bit flustered here, no?)
She is finally ready to receive her guests. Laura wants to know why
S&M Guy Sheldon is in such a state!
“It seems people are trying to kill him,” Steele explains.
Laura places comforting (?) hands around S&M Guy Sheldon’s neck. Is she going to ask him if she can touch his face, a’la Creepy Izzy?
“What people?” Laura asks him.
“The CIA,” he says, adding, “It’s hair dye.”
“The CIA? Why?” Laura wants to know.
“A whim, perhaps?” Steele suggests. The point is, Sheldon wants them (Steele Investigations) to stop them (the CIA).
Apparently Sheldon is under the impression they have the “background for the job.”
Laura decides it’s time to caucus in the other room.
They leave Sheldon to loiter in the living room (don’t sit on the couch, Shelly!) and head to Laura’s fairly hideous kitchen. Is that a picture of a rabbit above the phone? Random!
Laura wants to know why this guy thinks they have the background to take on the CIA. Her tone says, “What did you do this time?”
Steele explains that Sheldon is a CIA employee. A few days ago men started following him. They started shooting at him.
Um … men?
Dude looks like a lady!
Sheldon panicked and ran – straight to that famous ex-CIA agent …
“Remington Steele!” they exclaim in unison. (They’re such a team!)
Oh, my. Laura surmises that Sheldon read about Mr. Steele in the papers: “All that vague reference to secret missions, all that gop about government service.”
Steele wants to know what they’re going to do about it! Laura gives him a look: she’s got this under control.
Caucus is over!
Laura has some bad news to break to Sheldon:
“What would you say if I told you Mr. Steele never had anything to do with the CIA?”
Um … Miss Holt? Sheldon has news for you.
“Down at the CIA, I worked in IR – that’s Information Retrieval. At the company, I’m known as the Answer Man.” He knows how much wheat was harvested in the Ukraine in 1963! He knows how many MIGs can land on the island of Baba, off Cuba! He knows who was Miss Rheingold of 1957!
So don’t try to tell The Answer Man that things aren’t as he knows them to be! He’s thoroughly investigated Mr. Steele. His findings: no birth certificate, no fingerprints on file, no records of any kind. Obviously he was with The Company!
“I guess you have us!” Laura concedes.
Steele calls another caucus. He wants to know what the hell she’s doing?
“What did you expect me to say? ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Quarry, you’re wrong. Remington Steele can’t help you, because there is no Remington Steele.'”
Obviously there’s been a mistake, she reasons. Sheldon needs help, someone to contact – whoever you contact in situations like this – and ….
“And-and-and-what?! These are secret agents we’re talking about. Bombs! Poison darts! Big fat guys with deadly hats they throw at your neck!”
Wish granted, Mr. Brosnan!
Sheldon appears in the doorway; he hopes he’s not interrupting.
“I just wanted to say, being here with you people is the first time I’ve felt really safe in a long time.” He hasn’t had a sound night’s sleep or a hot meal since Wednesday!
Laura leads him to the kitchen table.
Laura starts fussing in the kitchen, though Sheldon protests.
Steele seems a bit perturbed by her solicitousness – she’s never that nice to him!
Laura presents Sheldon with a salad and tells him to eat. She then returns to Steele …
… who has poured himself a cuppa.
Sheldon shares some painful news: He was supposed to get married tomorrow, to Lucille. He was on his way to the rehearsal when he saw one of his ushers across a courtyard. “He waves to me … gives me a little nod like he needs a ride home, and I say yeah. He beats me over to the car.”
“He must have seen the tuxedo boxes on the passenger seat, because he walks around and grabs holds of the driver’s door. The first thing I see is his body flying up in the air like he was let out of some jack-in-the-box.”
Laura is deeply affected by Sheldon’s story, especially when he tells her he hasn’t been in contact with Lucille – it’s too dangerous.
She tells him there’s not much they can do about the CIA at this hour, but asks if she can at least put Lucille’s mind at ease.
Sheldon feels guilty for making Laura cancel her date.
“Oh, yes! My date, hahahahaha!”
She forgot all about it, in all the excitement.
Laura moves to call her date to break the bad news. I know he’ll be crushed!
She shoos Sheldon and Steele into the living room. After all, this is private! Personal!
“Hello? This is Laura Holt. I ordered a medium pizza to go about 15 minutes ago. Well … cancel it.”
A very full weekend indeed, Laura!
This scene gives us a window into who Laura is outside the office. In contrast to her sophisticated office style, her home is kind of kitschy. She has pictures of furry animals hanging in her kitchen. And Sheldon certainly activates her nurturing side. Laura so often projects a cool demeanor; it’s slightly startling to see her here like this. Schleppy and lonely on a Friday night, clipping coupons and doing paperwork.
Mr. Steele seems to know his way around Laura’s place, so apparently he’s been here before. I wonder what he thinks about her interior design style? It’s rather different from his upscale digs. I think Mr. Steele is amused by Laura’s embarrassment to be caught in a lie, but at least he’s too much a gentleman (just barely!) to call her on it outright.
Interestingly, Mr. Steele – usually the champion of the underdog – seems wary of helping Sheldon. Clearly he’s seen too many Bond movies; secret agents are bad news! We witness Mr. Steele’s strong instinct for self-preservation. He’s inclined to be helpful, as long as he doesn’t have to stick his neck out too far. I wonder if he’ll warm to Sheldon over time …