Thou Shalt Not Steele – 7

Laura has been abducted! Meanwhile, back in Steele’s apartment …


“Formidable entrance, Felicia,” Steele grouses as she makes herself (even more) at home. I’m not sure he’s glad to see her! Steele wants to know if the front door was too traditional for her.


“Too dangerous,” she explains. “There are some desperate men looking for me right now.” Desperate men? Do they hang out in elevators? Oh, dear!


“So you thought you’d pop in and tell me all about it.” Mr. Steele is genuinely cranky! I guess he really, really wanted to have dinner with … Abigail.


“The evening does seem to be ours now,” Felicia smirks. Ooh! Hate that Felicia. Hate her!


She lolls back on Mr. Steele’s bed.



Meanwhile, down in the parking lot …


Abigail has had enough! She decides to see what’s keeping Laura and that nice, eligible Mr. Fish Steele!


En route, she helpfully holds the door for a gentleman toting a barrel. Nothing out of the ordinary here, ma’am. Just removing a barrel of toxic waste from a luxury apartment. Happens every day in L.A.


The guy (Hey! He looks familiar!) wants to know if that’s Abigail’s car in the drive; it’s blocking his toxic waste disposal truck.


Sighing at being so put upon by her daughter, Abigail tells the nice man she’ll move the car.

Back upstairs …


Mr. Steele is getting dressed. Is he still planning to have dinner with the Holt ladies?

“So …,” Steele says in a fairly obvious redubbing, “You swindled a fortune from this Guffman character, is that it?”

randomalertWaiting_for_Guffman“Waiting for Guffman,” a mockumentary from the team that made “First in Show” and “A Mighty Wind,” is one of my favorite movies. Here’s a clip!


Felicia says she had every intention of paying him back with interest. (Wow. Pierce Brosnan was a tall, thin drink of water in those days!)

funfacticonAccording to his idmb entry, Pierce Brosnan holds the title of both lightest Bond (164 lbs. in “GoldenEye”) and heaviest Bond (211 lbs. in “Die Another Day.”) In an entirely unrelated note, PB is on the record as saying his wife Keely is an excellent cook.


Felicia says she was threatened with some “rather grisly results” if she didn’t make amends.

“Why do it with the Five Nudes of Cairo?” Steele wants to know. He notes that the insurance company they recovered it for showed their gratitude by not paying them.

(Ah. So that previous heist was a Good Deed in the service of the rightful owners, eh, Steele? Kind of like stealing the Royal Lavulite was on behalf of the South African government. You are a good citizen, Mr. Steele.)


“Sentimental reasons.” She happened upon a photograph of the famous Remington Steele, and when the painting happened to be in the same city …


“Kismet,” Steele notes.

funfacticonKismet is the Islamic concept of fate or destiny. It’s also a not-very-good 1955 movie musical starring Howard Keel and Ann Blyth. Is this our movie reference for the episode?



Miss Thing undresses Mr. Steele as fast as he dresses himself. She knows he’d be only too willing to help her steal the painting – and by the way, must he get dressed?

(Is it me, or did Cassandra Harris have enormous hands?)


Steele slaps away her roaming hands (good on you, Steele!).  He thinks her proposal sounds like blackmail!


She thinks blackmail is a tacky term. (How about sexual harassment, Felicia? That sit better with you?) She suggests they steal the painting together, steal away to someplace decadent and brush up on their “Bacchanalian whirl.”


Sorry, Felicia. He’s all whirled out.


Felicia is miffed! “Surely being Remington Steele can’t be all that much fun!”


“You’d be surprised.”


Felicia says she’d hate to expose him as a fraud. It would be such an awful flap! “And that associate of yours … won’t she be crushed when she finds out you’re not really Remington Steele?”

“Mortally, I’m sure.”


Felicia is glad they’ve reached an understanding. Steele looks a little tense here, no?


Still, Mr. Steele never turns down a smooch.


Felicia isn’t satisfied with his response – or lack thereof. “You know darling, if I didn’t know better, I’d say some woman’s finally caught you by the heart.”

Steele wants to know what makes her say such a ridiculous thing! Well, the fact that he’d firmly turned down a cheap sexual encounter with her, for one thing. Felicia says there’s a new feel about him (she’d know, I guess; she certainly was feeling him up). It’s as if he’d been … “smitten.” Aw.


Before he can refute her ridiculous assertion, the doorbell buzzes.


Steele goes to answer the door, wrestling with a sweater on the way. Looks like he was planning on a casual evening. Maybe he was taking Laura and her mother to Denny’s?


Speaking of Laura’s mother … here she is!


Mrs. Holt is steamed. She considers herself a patient person …


… but if Laura thinks she can just leave her sitting down there by herself-


“You mean she’s not with you?”

Dum dum DUM!

This scene offers some tantalizing peeks into who Steele used to be … and who he is becoming. I’m not sure Felicia views his transformation as a positive thing! I think Steele had every intention of getting dressed and following Laura and her mother to whatever restaurant they had planned on. He certainly was NOT interested in a tete-a-tete with his former lover. Interestingly, Laura already thinks he’d have sex with Felicia, so one might expect him to indulge himself, since he’s earned Laura’s disapproval anyway. But he doesn’t.  Is this because of his feelings for Laura, his sincere desire to be someone other than who he has been, or both?


Filed under Season 1

4 responses to “Thou Shalt Not Steele – 7

  1. eaz35173

    I think the scene with Felicia is very telling for those of us in the audience. Since Laura is not privy to this moment, she doesn’t see what we see about Steele’s behavior. For me, this is the first real inkling we get that Steele really does want to change/has changed to a degree. He is presented with an opportunity to turn to the shady side of the street, and he refuses. He is presented with a willing participant for a “bacchanalian whirl”, and turns it down. I think it is because he really does care for Laura and her opinion of him (and his opinion of himself) that he doesn’t take Felicia up on either of her offers. I think Steele has some form of personal integrity or a code he lives by, even on his shady side – so this makes sense to me.

    On a side note, the scene where Felicia is untucking his shirt seems a bit too playful – almost like it might have been Cassie having too much fun seeing how far she could play the scene with her husband. None of those stage directions were in the script. All it says in the script is … “Remington is dressing as they talk. Simone is more or less moving on him throughout the scene.” So, from a past relationship perspective, casting Pierce’s wife, worked for me.

  2. I agree with everything you said. Steele is definitely in the ‘been there, done that’ mode and has decided to move forward with Laura. Yes he planned to go to dinner with Laura and her mother. I get the feeling he really wanted to go. Felicia played all the same partner cards as Murphy and got nowhere.

    There is only one thing I didn’t understand, why didn’t Steele go after Laura? Was it because she was so dismissing in her assumption of guilt? And she tried to break his foot? Or would that had interfered with the rest of the plot? They should have thrown us a bone here.

    • eaz35173

      Very cool – I never thought of Steele and Felicia’s relationship like Laura and Murphy’s.

    • Steele probably didn’t dare leave that sneak thief alone in his apartment! I think that Steele knows he is a passionate man, and also understands that, in potential areas of conflict, a cool head is a strong asset. He perhaps planned to let her cool down a bit before joining her and her mother at the restaurant (after getting rid of Felicia). He no doubt also wanted to find out exactly what Felicia was up to and how she planned to involve him in her scheme, so he could take appropriate action to ward off any trouble – for himself, and for Laura.

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