Steele Belted – 13

We left Murphy and Steele in the office with chills.


We now find ourselves outside some kind of guardhouse.


We see a couple of hands: one gloved, one bare.


When the camera pulls back, we see that it’s our partners in crime, Murphy Michaels and Remington Steele. They’re fiddling with some kind of contraption.


As Steele continues to tinker, Murphy notes, You seem to know an awful lot about jumping telephone lines.”

So THAT’S what they’re doing!

Steele assures Murphy that he picked up the skill at the cinema.

randomalert And apparently this is something people really do:


Looks like Steele is doing it the right way.


Murphy reminds Steele that just because they’re working together on this, doesn’t mean Murph is going to stop trying to send Steele packing.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, Murphy. Keeps us both on our toes.”


Perhaps tired of Murphy’s constant kvetching, Steele puts on what appear to be sound-cancelling headphones. “You’re on,” he tells Murph.


Murph uses a red phone to place a call. Disguising his voice, he informs the gate guard on the other end of the extension that he is Creighton Phillips, and he’s expecting Remington Steele as his guest.

randomalert In popular legend, there is a red phone on the desk of the president of the United States, with a direct line to Moscow. There’s even an example of it in the Jimmy Carter museum: redphone

But apparently it’s all a big, fat lie. There was a direct line to Moscow, but it was first a teletype, then a fax machine, and currently email. Next you’re going to tell me Batman’s red phone isn’t real, either!


I still believe!

Anyway …


Mr. Steele is pleased with Murphy’s impression of Hunky Barry.


We now see the Steele limo approaching the guarded gate.


The gate guard approaches. His uniform identifies him as being from “Consolidated Guards” Hm. I thought Graybridge Security Services had a lock on all the uniformed flunky business in L.A.!


Why, look! It’s Murphy behind the wheel. Apparently the Steele Agency is cracking down on overtime for Fred. Murphy tells the guard he has Mr. Steele to see Creighton Phillips.


Steele waits pensively, handsomely, in the back seat as the guard confirms: “Yes, sir. You’ve been cleared. Follow the drive all the way to the top, it’s the first townhouse on your right.”


As the car proceeds through gate, Mr. Steele is moved to compliment his accomplice: “Nicely done. In fact, that outfit rather becomes you.”


Murph is not amused. “Don’t push it.”


The limo proceeds to a rather junky looking patch inside the gated compound. Is this the servants’ entrance?

Steele and Murphy emerge from the limo.


Then Murphy bends down in front of Steele. If this weren’t a wholesome, family-oriented blog, I’d make a crude joke here. Feel free to insert your own.


Murphy’s object was to give Steele a boost to the roof of the limo. What, Steele couldn’t climb onto the hood by himself? “Do sound the horn if anyone happens by,” Steele requests.


“Oh, sure. It’ll be a real shame if you had to spend the night in jail,” Murphy retorts.


Steele starts climbing up the side of the building, offering us another nice butt shot. This seems to be becoming the theme of this episode. Is there a Yiddish word for butt? Of course there is: tuckus. Steele has a nice tuckus.


Meanwhile, inside Hunky Barry’s place, he and Laura are engaged in working on the case. “First, I’ll move to dismiss for failure to establish a prima facie case,” HB says. “Mmm hmmm,” Laura agrees. They’re so engrossed in their work that they fail to see the man in black outside the window.


Nope, not that one.


This one.


“You know, it seems to me that there’s more here than legal maneuvers, Creighton,” Laura says, as Steele eavesdrops outside.”We should be concentrating on the killer.”

Steele continues to climb upward, leaving the detective and the lawyer to continue their discussion.


“Any candidates?” HB asks.

Laura says she’s working on it.


Hunky Barry goes to get more coffee. Is he afraid his witty repartee isn’t enough to keep Laura awake?

Meanwhile …


… Steele has arrived at his destination and slips inside what is apparently HB’s bedroom.


He closes the door, then turns back …


… and stumbles over something. So much for cat-like grace! Oh – it turns out it’s an actual cat, which yowls in protest at having been stepped on.


Downstairs, HB and Laura hear the commotion.

“Sounds like Gomie,” HB says.

I’m going to assume Gomie is the cat, not HB’s pet name for his  pool boy,



By an unbelievable coincidence, I just got a new cat myself:


Meet Remington!


As HB and Laura go to see what the racket is, Steele squeezes himself under the bed.


Just in time! HB enters. “Gomie, where are you?”


Right here, Dad!


Mr. Steele is being scrutinized by the resident watch cat.


I don’t think Gomie likes you, Mr. Steele.


The feeling is mutual!

funfacticon Though Remington Steele doesn’t seem overly fond of felines, Pierce Brosnan seems to like them well enough. Here’s a picture of his new Abyssinian kittens!


Could they be more adorable? They could not.


HB is still looking for his pussy (yes, I went there). He’s likely to find more than Gomie under that bed!


Desperate, Mr. Steele grabs the ferocious feline and throws him out from under the bed. I’m afraid I’m going to have to report you to the ASPCA for that, Mr. Steele.


Gomie takes off like, well, a scalded cat*. “What’s the matter with him?” Laura wonders.

*I strongly disapprove of scalding cats.


Mr. Steele gets as comfortable as possible in his hiding place. Just then, HB makes his move.


“Maybe he didn’t like it up here,” Hunky Barry says.


“But then, he didn’t have you to keep him company.” HB switches off the light. Seduction requires a certain ambiance!

Laura suggests they get back to work.


Mr. Steel rolls over onto his side, disgusted with Barry’s amateurish technique. He knows a professional first plies the lady with alcohol.




Meanwhile, HB counters Laura’s work ethic with his own suggestion: “Let’s take a break.” Laura is hesitant.


Undeterred, Barry makes a swan dive onto the bed, presumably to test its springs.


Mr. Steele takes the brunt of Barry’s sudden passion, as the mattress whacks him on the head.


Laura reminds HB what they’re there for – to help Buddy. But Barry is soooooooo tired.


But not too fatigued to grab Laura and pull her onto the bed with him. This is getting worrisome!


Mr. Steele listens as Laura tries to fend Hunky Barry off.

“I have been trying to think of a way to get you up here all night. I KNEW there was a reason I kept that cat around,” he hears HB purr.

“Creighton, now, stop. Now cut it out!” Laura protests.

“Do you know what it’s like trying NOT to smell your perfume?” HB continues.

Just when it looks like Mr. Steele is going to have to reveal himself to protect Laura’s honor, the lady takes care of the situation herself.


She escapes the gorilla’s clutches and heads back downstairs. He follows, disappointed.


Once they’ve gone, Steele crawls out from under the bed.


Crossing to HB’s dresser, he picks up a hairbrush and removes a few hairs, perhaps as a memento of this romantic evening. It can’t be to conduct DNA testing, since that didn’t come into being until 1985.


His mission accomplished, Mr. Steele departs.

Some thoughts on this long sequence … It seems Murphy’s scruples aren’t quite as ironclad as he’s led us to believe. When it’s about protecting Laura, he’s willing to resort to illegal tactics. It was interesting that he reminded Steele that this is only a temporary truce: once the Hunky Barry problem is taken care of, Murph will return to his primary objective – ridding the agency of Steele. It appears that Steele actually gets a kick out of the rivalry, the cat-and-mouse game with Murphy. I’m not sure Mr. Michaels finds it quite so amusing – perhaps because he knows he’s outmatched.

I wonder if Steele and Murphy knew Laura was at HB’s house? Since Laura is not an attorney, it’s not clear what she hoped to accomplish with this late-night strategy session. But she’s clearly in work mode here: I don’t see a hint of the flirtatiousness she exhibited on their date. Clearly HB has other ideas, and doubtless would have come up with some other reason to get her up to his bedroom had Gomie and Steele not provided the impetus. I find myself surprised that the man even has a cat – he seems more like a big dog kind of guy – a Doberman or Shepherd perhaps. Does he keep a cat as his “wingman” to help him seduce the ladies?

Hunky Barry’s aggressiveness with Laura in the bedroom was disturbing. He clearly doesn’t know enough about Laura if he thinks a quick “break” is going to interest her. I wonder if Laura is regretting her previous flirty statement about wanting more than a “smidgeon of pleasure.” Hunky Barry seems determined to take her up on that. I’m slightly surprised that Laura is willing to go back downstairs and continue to work with the man after this incident. I’d expect her to give him a knee to the groin and take her leave.

I look forward to your thoughts on this segment!














Filed under Season 1

10 responses to “Steele Belted – 13

  1. eaz35173

    I agree, that Steele is liking the whole Murphy rivalry thing. He knows what buttons to push, that’s for sure. Speaking of buttons, Steele does seem pretty familiar with the line jumping thing. Keep that in mind for a future episode when he seems to temporarily forget that this is possible (spoiler alert ….. Steele Framed).

    Not sure why there is so much garbage outside HB’s townhouse. Perhaps it’s in the new construction area of the development?

    Oh, that under the bed/seduction scene is both funny and cringe-worthy all at the same time. Steele’s expressions are priceless, and HB’s seduction technique border on the sleazy side of things. There was a point at which I wasn’t sure he was going to honor the lady’s “no”. Good to see that Laura was all business. She did tell HB earlier that when she wants pleasure it’s more than a smidgen. I don’t recall her telling HB here that she wanted ANY pleasure. It’s nice for Steele to get a “glimpse” of this, too – her saying “no” to HB.

    Your new cat is a cutie!! Did you really name him Remington?

  2. Melissa

    I approve of your cat’s name! 🙂 We had a tuxedo cat. My daughter named him Charlie, after her first role in the middle school play. They did Anne if Green Gables. Being an all-girl school, some of the girls weere cast in the boy’s roles. Charlie was such a gentleman. We lost him a few years ago. All of a sudden, he had trouble breathing. By the time we got to the animal hospital, it was too late. 😦

    • I’m sad about Charlie! Did they tell you what was wrong with him?

      • Melissa

        It was 1AM and the only place open was the vet school at Ohio State University. They asked if they could do an autopsy and my daughter gave her permission, but we never did find out what happened. At first, it sounded just like he was coughing up a hairball, until he collapsed on the floor. 😦

      • eaz35173

        So sorry, Melissa 😦 Pets are just like family members.

  3. Excellent recounting of this segment, as all are.  My only probl

  4. Luann

    HB’s bedroom decor leaves a lot to be desired, like a hotel room. Not the bachelor pad one would expect.

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