Steele Trap – 4


Dr. Bellows and Nurse Lord have arrived at a substantial-looking edifice. Steele addresses the knocker. Speaking of impressive knockers …


The door is answered by a buxom lass who seems to have escaped from the local Renaissance Faire. Let me guess: This is the gal from “Earth Girls Are Easy,” right? Giggly girl wants to know if the apparently over-dressed pair at the door are expected.


Steele produces his entry card: “We have an invitation.”

“Well. In that case …


“… , entre vous,” she gushes. Ah, she’s French!


She invites them in. Strangely, Mr. Steele seems a LOT more excited to be here than Laura.


“I’m Miss Mae,” she tells them.


Hm. I thought THIS was Miss Mae.
Steele, at least, is happy to meet her. “A pleasure, Miss Mae.”

“No, not MISS Mae. Miss MAY.”
Ooh, I know this one! Who’s on first?
“Cindi Sikes. The ‘Devil’s Disciple’ for May.” My, what a large mouth you have, Miss May.


Mr. Steele introduces himself.  “And I’m Dr. Bellows. Dr. Arthur Bellows.”
Miss May suddenly develops an apparent interest in the contents of Mr. Steele’s nostrils. She tells him she’s glad he’s here, and drags him away.

I don’t think Laura is pleased to be ditched like this.


Nope. Definitely not pleased. In fact, she looks sad. 😦

Miss May whispers in Steele’s ear. “Sorry,” he tells her. “No.”


Miss May is disappointed. Mr. Steele is … shruggy.

After the devil’s disciple leaves, Laura rejoins her companion.

“What was that all about?”

“She forgot her birth control pills,” he tells her. “Thought I might have an extra supply.”


Suddenly, piano music is heard nearby. Dr. Bellows takes his nurse’s arm and they seek the source of the sound.


They discover a bored-looking lady sitting at the piano. Miss May-Not?


“Delightful touch,” Mr Steele charms. “I’m Dr. Bellows. Dr. Arthur Bellows.”

Piano Lady says her name is Madeline Vickers. And she DOESN’T do requests.
Well! The detectives are taken aback by her rudeness. So far, this place isn’t fun at all!


They notice some random dude reading a paper on the couch. I thought this was supposed to be a place of reckless abandon and unparalleled hedonism. Well, it IS a white couch. That’s pretty damned crazy.


Suddenly a woman appears Big hair and a loud caftan.


Hello, Mrs. Roeper!

Mrs Roeper introduces herself as Randi.


“That’s comforting to know. Especially on these long weekends,” Steele says.


That’s a good one, Mr. Steele!


Laura doesn’t think so. She gives him a sharp elbow to the ribs. He falls into line. “I’m Dr. Bellows. Dr. Arthur Bellows.”
“Dr. Bellows,” Randi oozes. “It’s been so LONG.” Is that another lame innuendo?


Uh huh.


Now somebody else arrives. “Did I hear you say you were a doctor?” he asks.

Steele confirms.


“My brother’s in the medical profession,” the man informs him.


“Yes. He’s a proctologist.”

“Interesting area,” Steele comments.


Oh, Mr. Steele. Please stop.


Pretty sure Laura agrees with me. Meanwhile, Randi gets handy.


Perhaps affronted by Laura’s lack of appreciation for his scintillating wit (or maybe just smarting from that elbow to the ribs), Mr. Steele springs his trap.

“Permit me to present my current enamourata …”

funfacticonInamorata (n): a woman who loves or is loved; female sweetheart or lover.

Awwww. That’s so sweet!


“Myrtle Groggins.”

randomalertAt least eight people calling themselves “Myrtle Groggins” have Facebook pages.

The man with Randi introduces himself to Miss Groggins as Feldman.

Randi suddenly asks Dr. Bellows if he wants to do it.

“I beg your pardon?” he responds.



Steele demurs.
“I’m ready anytime you are,” Randi says, making her exit.

“Impressive edifice,” Steele remarks as she walks away.


Oh, dear. Am I going to have to get firm with you, Mr. Steele?
Feldman agrees, explaining that the mansion was “former retreat of a chewing gum magnate before Ambrose turned it into a Devil’s Playground Club.”
“Ah, Ambrose Blinn,” Steele comments. “Publisher of Devil magazine. Quite an interesting logo: For Satyrs of all Ages.”

“I didn’t know you read Devil magazine, doctor,” Laura snarks.


“Only for the occasional medical article,” he assures her.
Oh, look! It’s Miss May again. She offers Dr. Bellows an aperitif.


The good doctor hesitates.”A man in my profession must be exceedingly careful where alcoholic spirits are concerned, young lady.”


“However, the judicious use of alcoholic spirit is actually a tonic for the body.”


“I’ll have a cocktail or two now, perhaps a flagon of wine with the meal, then an after dinner drink …”


“…followed by some Irish coffee.”


“After all,” he expounds …


“I might have to operate in the morning.”

Oh, you’re an operator, Mr. Steele.

Feldman and Miss May retreat, leaving Bellows & Groggins alone.

Laura turns to Steele. “Poured it on a little THICK, don’t you think?” she grouses.

“The man IS supposed to be a hopeless alcoholic,” he reminds her.
“You’re HOPELESS, all right,” she tells him.

Well! Laura is a grumpy Groggins, isn’t she? Mr. Steele, on the other hand, is in his element. In an environment where everybody seems as phony as a $2 bill, he feels perfectly at home.  Still, things aren’t looking good for his plan to play around with Laura on the Devil’s Playground …


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5 responses to “Steele Trap – 4

  1. daphgg

    Hmmm. I have written these comments 3 times after a few hours they keep disappearing. Last try.

    Yes Laura is grumpy. I think she is upset that Steele is paying more attention to the case than her. AND she has some eye candy type of competition. Steele seems to be focused on his new doctor role and may be unaware that things are not well between him and Laura romantically. However Steele does seem to be working hard to impress Laura with his corny jokes. Weird how he doesn’t notice her jealous glances though. Laura seems amused by his procologist joke.

    I mean really, does Steele think they are there to work on a case for a dead client? No wonder Laura is grumpy; he should be able to figure out the real reason they are there. Uh they are supposed to be on the same page, right? I mean they agreed to go based on the filmsy reasons outlined earlier that day.

    Isn’t PB great during these ‘monologues’. He’s hilarious. Laura may be annoyed by Steele’s alcoholic twaddle but I loved it. Your Mrs. Roeper comparisons are great!

    • eaz35173

      Other than the fact that Steele changes her name to Myrtle, it hadn’t occurred to me that Laura might be grumpy because Steele is actually paying attention to the case and not her. Good insights, Daph.

      • I’ve wondered why Steele chose to tag her with that Myrtle identity, knowing full well that she wanted to be called Tracy Lord. Was it to tweak her for being so bossy and ordering him around? Or was it just gentle teasing, and he didn’t think she’d be seriously annoyed by it?

      • eaz35173

        Maybe he wanted to make her seem less attractive to other men? Sure, she’s quite attractive to look at, but what would the name Myrtle convey about her family and her personality?

  2. daphgg

    I think you both are absolutely right! Steele introduces Laura as Myrtle to ward of competition and the fact that it annoys her is payback bonus for being so bossy and grumpy.

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