Steele Trap – 18

We left Laura in temporarily eternal repose.

lauraoutofposition

However, it appears she has forgotten that corpses don’t move.

zombies

I stand corrected. Anyway … we hear Madge at the piano as Laura dozes.

turningdoorknob

Suddenly we see the handle of the door turning. Could it be Mr. Steele, sneaking in for a tryst?

blinksawake

Laura stirs. Presumably she also assumes it’s Mr. Steele, as she makes not move to resume her funereal pose.

dooropening

The door opens a crack …

buttofagun

Is that a gun, Mr. Steele, or are you just glad to see her?

idontgetit

Sorry, Bruce. It was a lame joke.

fasternthanaspeedingbullet

Laura is aroused (tee hee) by the sight of the long barrel of the gun.

anothershot

She rolls out of the way just as a shot rings out!

deadpillow

And the killer claims another victim.  RIP, satin pillow.

sadkitty

So.Much.Sad.

steeletotherescue

Hearing the shot, Steele races to the rescue.

reunion

He meets an undead Laura in the hallway. “Somebody else saw the movie!” she informs him.

didIhearashot

“Did I hear a shot?” Steele wants to know.

Either that, or that franks and beans dinner has affected someone’s digestive system in a big way.

stinkysmell

Hey. It’s perfectly natural. But that’s not it.

sizeofDetroit

“I hope so,” Laura says, “because there’s a bullet hole in my pillow the size of Detroit.”
yournotdead
Just then Randi appears, dressed for action.

personalhygiene

She’s joined by Dominic, who is surprisingly fastidious about his hygiene for a pornographer.”Miss Groggins!” Randi says. “You’re not dead!”

nomissgrogginsisnot

Mr. Steele concedes the lady is very much alive. Then he drops a bombshell: “In fact, Miss Groggins is not Miss Groggins.”

alsonotmissgroggins

“She’s Laura Holt, my most able assistant, from the detective agency which bears my name:”

bearsmyname

“Remington Steele.”

perhapsyouveheardofme

“Perhaps you’ve heard of me.”

noey

Nope.

awkwardspock

Oh, dear.

abitfarsouth

“Oh. Well, it is a bit far south for us.”

Iheardashot

Just then, our hero Feldman appears, coyly revealing a hint of his brawny chest in a plunging bathrobe. What a man!

“I heard a shot!” the amateur sleuth declares. Then he spots another clue: NotDeadNotMyrtle!

wthisgoingonhere

“What the HELL’S going on here?” he demands.

privatedetectives

Laura’s got this. “We’re private detectives, Mr. Feldman, investigating the death of our client, Dr. Arthur Bellows.”

wellthatsasurprise

Surprise!

Ibaredmysoul

“You mean I bared my soul to a … peeper?” Randi exclaims.

milhouseeyebrows

Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?

adelightfulsoul

“And a delightful soul it was, Miss Russell,” Steele smirks. “Surgically speaking.” I expect the pepper is rather delightful in its own way as well.

ohbehave

Oh, behave!

pervertisaspervertdoes

“Pervert!”

Hey! I resemble that remark.

blockstheshot

She raises a hand (rather languidly, actually) to strike Steele. But he parries the blow.

justaminutemissrussell

“Just a moment, Miss Russell,” he says sternly.

attemptedtokillmissholt

“Someone attempted to kill Miss Holt just now.”

searchevetyonesroom

He suggests it’s time to search everybody’s room for a weapon. Randi and Feldi seem … open to the idea.

But Laura can save them all some time.

showushisfriend

“Unless Mr. Dominic cares to show us his friend.”

(How grim Mr. Steele looks here! I think he doesn’t take kindly to anyone trying to hurt his inamorata.)

notshowing

Dominic plays dummy. He don’t know nothing about no gun.

“The one you carry in your inside coat pocket,” she reminds him.

steelebegstodiffer

“I’m not showing you anything, lady.”

You won’t make it very far in the pornography game with that kind of attitude, Silent Partner. In any case, Steele begs to differ. He makes a grab for the man in white.

holdit

“Hold it!” Dominic says.

Now THAT’S more like I would expect from a porn king.

beavisbutthead

Heh.

buyacheapwatch

Apparently eager to prove his XXX movie cred, Dominic begins to disrobe.

“Where is it?” Laura asks.

You’re even more innocent than I thought, Miss Holt!

youllneverfindit

“Where you’ll never find it,” he says.

I should think not. She’s a nice girl.

steelewillfindit

Steele’s had enough of my sophomoric humor. “I’ll find it.”

churchlady

Oh, now you’re just egging me on.

wheresmadeline

Just then, Randi remembers that someone is missing. Our gal Madge.

“She was downstairs playing,” Feldman reminds them.

rightbeforetheshot

“But she stopped,” Steele remarks, “right before the shot.”

thatdippybroad

That’s all the info Silent Partner needs to solve the case. “It was here. That dippy broad always hated Ambrose. She’s probably downstairs, waiting to pop us off, one by one.”

popusoff

He leads the group off to get popped.

offtheygo

Away they go again!

lauraleadsagain

Once again Laura is in the lead as they arrive at the darkened living room.

runningindark

Apparently possessing keen night vision, Laura rushes toward something she sees across the room.

madgeisdead

Looks like we won’t be hearing any more piano music his episode.

killedbyivory

Mr. Steele, who isn’t interested in things like “contaminating the crime scene” or “fingerprints on the murder weapon,” Steele picks up a long, cylindrical object next to Madeline. (You may insert your own dirty joke here.)

“Ivory,” he declares. “For someone who tickled the ivories. Another grim piece of poetry.”

I think that’s a bit of a stretch, Mr. Steele. It doesn’t even rhyme.

fourvictimsonemurderer

“Well,” Laura points out. “We’re down to four possible victims, … and one definite murderer.”

But who can it be?

dudpiciousHOmer

8 Comments

Filed under Season 1

8 responses to “Steele Trap – 18

  1. Luann

    I wonder every time… Why is the shooter after “dead” Laura? Esp. Since every other attack has been quiet and behind the scenes?

    • daphgg

      Great question. Plus who would have time to hit poor Madge over the head, then run upstairs, shoot at Laura, ditch the gun and escape back to their room before anyone noticed Madge stopped playing or investigated the gunshot?

      Steele must be staying in another room rather than being with Corpse Laura. Surprised he didn’t meet the murderer in the hallway while rushing to her aid.

      Randi really knows how to create drama by trying to hit Steele. Interesting how she goes from seducing to hitting him in just a couple of seconds. Plus she’s blaming him presumably for when she decided to bare herself to him thinking he was a doctor. What a fruitcake. Does she want to bed him or not?

      • Also, since all the other murders were symbolic of the victim (tickled to death, death by garbage, killed by ivory), how would a gunshot relate to Nurse Groggins?

  2. eaz35173

    Shots being symbolic for injections, perhaps?

    And where is Steele’s dinner jacket? Was he with Randi? He certainly wasn’t with Laura. So many questions ….

    • daphgg

      Great question. Hmmm. Myrtle’s gunshot may be symbolic of Laura and Steele’s romantic being shot/ ruined?

      Yes where was Steele? He must have gotten another room. Guess it wouldn’t work to sleep with a corpse.

      • Steele commented on them running out of rooms as the corpses accumulated. Why didn’t they just pile the whole lot up together in one space. On a tropical island, in a house without electricity, it would seem like you’d want to concentrate the odor of decomposition in one area. Am I thinking about this too hard?

  3. eaz35173

    Ewwww … but you are correct.

  4. daphgg

    Absolutely not. I agree that most practical and easiest solution would be to gather everyone in same room!

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