We are approaching the exciting climax of the episode! Oh, dear. Did I say climax?
We see Steele and Laura racing toward the sound of the giggling.
Here they come.
As they arrive back in the drawing room, they are shocked to see …
Miss May, cavorting on tape.
This, it seems, is an unexpected development.
I thought Laura had this all figured out?
Laura hits the pause button, and we note that it’s 9:08 pm. Does Mr. Steele get overtime for these long hours? Just then ..
Steele and Laura whirl at the sound of a voice behind them: “Come out, come out, wherever you are.”
Um. I’m pretty sure they’re right there. Not hiding or anything.
Look! It’s Mrs. Roper, dressed like a Bond girl. Or a janitor.
Steele keeps his cool. “Miss Russell. I must admit, this is quite a surprise.”
Is that your hands in your pockets, Mr. Steele, or are you just glad – nope. Just his hands in his pockets.
Mrs. Roper has a gun trained on them, and now she’s insulted. You may wish to work on your people skills, Mr. S.
“Why? Because you thought I was too dumb to plan this weekend?” she says.
“No offense,” Steele assuages her.
“… but you do give the impression of someone more comfortable with cartoons than Kafka.”
Well, that should smooth things over.
“Shame on you, Mr. Steele,” she answers, leaning provocatively against the wall. ” You’re just like everybody else. When you have a face and a body, that’s all people figure you have.”
Something tells me Mr. Steele’s not so sure about the whole “face and body” rationale.
“Devil magazine was going to be my chance to prove I was good at something besides showing myself,” she continues.
” Only, Ambrose didn’t give me what was coming to me.”
“So he got what was coming to him,” Steele says.
Steele seems to appreciate the symmetry of her solution, but Laura wants answers. “How’d you get him to tape that greeting?” Laura asks.
“He LOVED to prove how clever he was. When everyone was in watching him on television, he was going to sneak through the kitchen and be waiting at the dinner table when you came back.”
Can we just get on with the take-down?
“I didn’t fool you for a moment with my impersonation of Dr. Bellows, did I?” Steele makes chit-chat.
“No, Mr. Steele. Not when it took two years in Switzerland to put me back together after that drunken butcher cut me up.”
Is there any point in us knowing this backstory?
“How did Dominic get in the house?” Laura wants to know.
“I hope you don’t mind us asking all these questions,” Steele adds.
“But we’re really quite taken with your creativeness.”
“I unlocked the rear door. Didn’t want the poor man to catch his death outside.”
So … Randi killed Feldman, then ran back to the house, hid someplace while Steele & Laura locked all the doors, then unlocked the back door when they were elsewhere, then waited for Dominic to come back to his room and managed to get a noose around his neck and hang him (she’s stronger than she looks!), then got back downstairs ahead of Steele & Laura and turned on the VCR, then hid again until they came downstairs and confronted them instead of just shooting them dead when she saw them.
If you say so.
“Obviously you intend to leave this island before tomorrow morning,” Laura surmises. Meanwhile Mr. Steele, like the rest of us, seems on the verge of dozing off.
” I swim every day to keep in shape.” Plus, she has a pair of flotation devices supplied by Dr. Bellows!
According to Wikipedia, “The Mae West was a common nickname for the first inflatable life preserver, which was invented in 1928 by Peter Markus (1885–1974) (US Patent 1694714), with his subsequent improvements in 1930 and 1931. The nickname originated because someone wearing the inflated life preserver often appeared to be as physically endowed as the actress.”
The Mae West life preserver; the Mae West
Steele seems delighted by the plan. “I, for one, salute you, Miss Russell.”
Meanwhile, Laura steps back, pushing the resume button on the VCR.
Cindi starts giggling again.
Steele makes his move!
See, Laura? This is what happens when you turn Mr. Steele down too often. He lowers his standards.
Randi, in her most familiar position (on her back) has the last word: “You know, I liked you a hell of a lot better when you were Dr. Bellows.”
So now they just have to sit on her for another 12 hours in a house full of corpses, wait for the helicopter to come back, contact the authorities and explain what happened and undergo questioning at the police station for a few more hours. Sounds simple enough.
And now we know where they got the idea for that reality show …